By Lekshmy Sankar | 27-Mar-2018
I have two bad habits (or fantastic qualities as I like to think about them): I think a mile a minute and I tend to think out loud at the same time. If I do not understand a concept, I talk it out and flesh out the details. Depending on my surroundings it is a loud inner voice, but other times, it is with people around me. As most of my friends can attest, the dexterity of my thought process can be hard to keep up with. The unfortunate side-effect of my bad habits in my work life is that if I am in a meeting and I want to guide the conversation to a different direction or get people to start thinking differently, I might throw a concept out there that is not the result of a conscious “decision” on my part. Sometimes this leads to “Lekshmy said…” or “Lekshmy wants us to do….”.
I have learned that it is important to be adaptable as much as possible. It is not worth holding on to an idea or decision just because you came up with it. This leads me to the topic of today’s article – contextual communication. I have a pet peeve that I have just begun to realize bothers me (drum roll please): When someone uses my name to justify their own opinion. For example, someone recently said “we cannot do that because Lekshmy said so” but the individual was taking something I had said out of context and using it to justify their position. What bothers me about this kind of situations is, if the full context of the scenario or situation had been explained to me I might have come to a different conclusion. Using someone else's reputation, name, brand, or growing concern to justify your position is a sign of poor communication, leadership, and exhibits an utter lack of confidence on your part. If you want people to understand what you are selling – your idea, your concept, your product, whatever – it should never start with “Lekshmy thinks…”. It should start with an examination of why you are passionate about the product idea or movement. Potential consumers, colleagues, etc. want to hear your thought process and your conclusion. People buy things, support plans, and join movements because we want to be part of the dream – your dream – not because others have done it, talked about it, or developed it. When someone shares their passion, it allows us to form deeper relationships and connections, and it sparks something more profound within us. When you name drop or use other’s opinions without context, you are simply not connecting with other people on this more in-depth level.
I was reading DSM-IV’s definition of narcissistic personality disorder (just expanding my eclectic taste in reading), and it says that people tend to use other’s opinions and names because they believe they are “unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions”. Truthfully I know when someone uses other's name to endorse an idea, it hurts the credibility that they are building and it makes me wonder why the idea is not strong enough on its own without using another person’s name in it. In fact, when someone uses any name or says “we are doing this because xxx wants it this way," the first thought that I have is that the idea needs work and they are apparently not bought in.
We all have beautiful and unique thoughts and ideas – let’s not wash it down with unnecessary facts.
Your email will not be displayed in comment.
No comments yet, Be the first to comment.